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As a child I grew up in the South West of England as the 6th of 8 children. I spent the majority of my youth being told by my parents and teachers that I was stupid and useless and that I would never be clever enough to go to University. However,  I managed to gain a place at Oxford to do my nursing training. At that time I was a shy, introverted and insecure 18 year old.

 

When I was 22 years old I married in to the RAF becoming a military wife. I discovered early on how lonely and isolated life could feel when my husband was constantly away on detachment. We had 16 house moves in 16 years which was not unusual. However, that made it even more difficult to make friends and seek the help and support I needed when I had children.  I was stuck in the middle of nowhere on RAF bases and as was unable to drive for 2 years.

 

When my son was 3 months old we moved from Cornwall to Scotland. It was winter and the house we lived in had very little heating so we were always cold. A year later we bought our first house. I had learnt to drive and I now had more freedom to get out and about. I managed to find a job and a great childminder who was my saviour. After 4 years of sleepless nights with a hyperactive child I  then had my second child, a daughter. She slept very well and my son started to settle down at night. Our son spent fewer nights in our bed keeping us awake and life became a little easier until my husband came home from a medical at work one day and was told he needed to have a brain scan as his hearing was deteriorating. He went to have a MRI scan and came home with the news that he had a benign tumour around the hearing nerve in his ear. He had to undergo a 16 hour operation to remove the tumour which left him deaf in his affected ear. He was grounded from flying and was sent to North Wales to be a Ground Instructor. He was very fortunate to be able to get his flying category back after 1 year and was able to start flying again.

 

As we needed a second income during that time I managed to work doing agency nursing wherever we were living working at weekends when my husband was at home. When my daughter was 4 years old I had my third child, another boy. He was a happy baby but had constant colds and ear infections. He was unable to hear properly and required us to stand in front of him to speak clearly and slowly for him to hear and understand what we were saying. This impacted on his speech development and at 3 years old he had to undergo surgery. However, when he came home with such a fear of doctors that it became very difficult for him to have any treatment for any health issues afterwards for many years.

 

During that time I decided that I would start to study with the Open University to keep my professional development up as a nurse. I studied a course each year and after 3 years decided that I would continue to study until I had a degree. However, I then began to notice that my daughter was not reaching the milestones that she should have been reaching. She was a chatterbox and a very loving, happy child. However, she struggled to read and write so I knew something was wrong but just didn't know the extent of her problems. She started to have absences every day and became less communicative. At eight years old she had a major seizure and was referred to a Neurologist. This was when we found out that she had an undeveloped part of the brain which was triggering seizures. She was referred to Great Ormond Street Hospital where she was seen by a Neurologist. We were told that the part of the brain affected was not accessible by surgery as it was too near the brain stem to operate so she was given prescribed medication to help control her seizures. 

 

Unfortunately, our daughter's seizures soon became worse and she ended up having seizures daily. She was assessed regularly by her Neurologist who eventually re-referred her back to the Neurosurgeons for a further assessment. They decided that they would try surgery but were unable to predict how successful surgery would be. The surgery took place but still had many hurdles to go through during that difficult time. Over the years the seizures have diminished to the extent that she rarely has a seizure now. However, due to the frequency of the seizures when she was younger she did not develop socially so ended up with learning difficulties. Everything is black and white and she does not have a paid job. At every interview she has been discriminated against although no employer will admit to that. She continues to live at home in her bedroom doing arts and crafts which she loves and helping out in a charity shop as well as helping out at Brownies.

 

I continued to study while also working and bringing up the children almost single handed. After 8 years of studying I gained an Honours degree in Health Studies. I had at last proved my parents and teachers wrong and felt great. I found jobs working in hospitals and the Community. I enjoyed the work although it often conflicted with my responsibilities looking after the children when my husband was away so most of the time I ended up doing agency work until my husband left the RAF. 

 

Once my husband became a civilian I was able to spend more time on my career and trained to become and Occupational Health Advisor. This has allowed me to work in a number of different industries including banks, universities, councils, engineering companies, construction companies, supermarkets and hospitals.

 

A few years later I spent 3 years studying Life coaching and NLP becoming a qualified Life Coach and an NLP Master Practitioner. This training gave me the tools to help change my own life around as I learnt the techniques to change my way of thinking and to become a much happier person with a positive outlook for the future.

 

Life has not always been easy but I have managed to get through the low times and have come out with a positive, motivational attitude to life. I understand the struggles and responsibilities of balancing work and home life. I understand the negative impacts and strains that are put on families. This is why I became a Mindset & Wellbeing Coach.

 

If you have experienced anything similar in your life and are struggling to cope then life coaching may be something that can help you to develop more confidence, clarity and freedom in your life.

 

Lifeinsights is a mindset and wellbeing coaching service to help professionals in mid-life to remove the worries they have and instil new thinking patterns that are much more motivational and inspirational. My aim is to help as many people as possible to make positive changes to their life to give them a new lease of life and to give them a new purpose to living.